Today “Ducky” aka “Little” is 7 weeks and 2 days old. I am amazed at how quickly time has gone by. It seems like it was just yesterday I was at the hospital in labor.
It’s taken me this long to complete because Ducky is quite demanding of my time, but I wanted to share our birth story before it’s a shadow of a memory. I’ve already began to forget the small details. So here it is in all it’s glory.
I woke up the morning of May 10, walked into the kitchen and for the first time during this pregnancy Mr. asked me how I was feeling. I told him I was feeling a little achy. He left for work and I continued on with the morning. Got the kids up, Little Miss to school and then Papa Son and I were back home. As the morning progressed I began to feel contractions. They weren’t too strong, but felt more than Braxton Hicks.
I realize that I might be in labor around 12 when I started to keep track of the contractions via a contraction counter app.
That night we had plans to go to the movies. When my husband got home we decided that we would do so but I also let him know that I thought that I might be in labor. We drop the kids off at his moms house. I thought ahead and make sure that I packed the car just in case. So we drop the kids off also dropped off stuff that they would need should they need to spend the night with my brother. We went to the movies and were late as always. During this time even his parents realize that I was probably in labor. Because we were so late his parents decided that we would go to another theater in another city. I was not very comfortable with this because the theater was a little bit further away from home. We came home and my contractions began to get a little bit stronger. After a bit of time and debate with myself, I decided maybe we should go to the hospital. I was afraid go to the hospital too early (barely dilated) or to find I was not actually in labor. I did however decided it was time to go.
When we got to the hospital I went straight to the observation room of the labor and delivery ward. They observe me for a while on monitors to see if my contractions were in fact coming at a relatively regular rate. The doctor came in and he checked me and he said that I was only half a centimeter dilated I was immediately disappointed because I wanted to be further along before I actually came to the hospital. For fear of being induced with Pitocin. They’ve got my doctor and when she checked me she found that I was actually 2 cm dilated. She did however forced her fingers up into my cervix and did what I believe was a stripping of my membranes. From that moment on it was on and cracking! My contractions got stronger and stronger and closer & closer. I was in observation for quite some time because there were three women head of me who were competing to deliver their babies at the same time. At this point when they checked me they found that I was 4 cm dilated and making progress relatively quickly. Once they were done it was time for me to go to my labor and delivery room. It was at this point or just before that I decided that I would not be able to go any further and really wanted to have an epidural despite my prayer and hope for a natural labor and delivery. I cried at this decision because it was not something i made lightly. I was defeating myself. All I knew was I could not do a few more hours of this pain. I couldn’t get control of it. The observation room was too small to really move in and I was connected to the monitors for most of my time there.
I felt a leak. Some kind of fluid was leaking out. I thought my waters had broken. The doc checked me while I was on my side to see if he saw what I saw. He did. I was checked again. My water hadn’t broken, but I was at 7 cm. he didn’t say, but i was probably leaking urine.
Shortly after this a nurse came and decided I could be free from the monitors, walk, and wear my Pretty Pushers gown. Unfortunately, before I could do this it, was time to go to the other side.
They wheeled me over to L&D. When they tried to transfer me to the bed I was having really strong contractions making it difficult to move. I got into bed and was asked about the epidural again. This is when my husband told me I could do it. I could go all the way without the epidural. But I just kept pleading. I can’t. I can’t do any more. I was so tired. So the epidural decision was made. I cried. I really didn’t want the epidural. I only had to wait for the anesthesiologist for 10-15 mins.
Once the anesthesiologist came they sat me up while I was contracting, but something happened. The anesthesiologist had prepped my back, but right before he could stick me I felt the baby drop!!! I said, “I have to push!” Before I could get the sentence out my body began bearing down on it’s own. I couldn’t stop it. There was panic in the room because I had just been checked and was only 7cm. Out the corner of my eye I saw the anesthesiologist just quickly walk out the room. That was kind of funny.
So here I am now quickly moved to my back being checked again. I was at 10 with a little lip of cervix still. Thankfully my OB was back in the room quickly and told them I could push past it. She told me to push. Funny thing was I didn’t be her to tell me. I couldn’t stop myself from pushing. But there we were. I was having a baby!
I watched my OB trying to quickly get prepped watching me while I pushed. I remember looking at the clock. It was 2 a.m. I heard my husband saying, “Push Babe! She’s coming!” , my grandmother saying, “Push Naji!”, and the nurse, “Push, push, push.” At some point my doctor was doing something down there that cause excruciating pain. “Doctor P. please stop!” She kinda gave me a look, but she stopped. Then I felt the fire! Holy crap!!! “It burns so bad!” Doctor P. looke up at me and said, “That’s why it’s called “The Ring of Fire.” What a gross understatement! I screamed out again. Then I was apologizing! “I’m so sorry. I don’t want to be that woman who screams.” Lol! The desire to push despite that pain was incredible! Then her head was out.
The next thing I hear is, “Tenáj, don’t push!” The cord’s around her neck.” My husband’s saying, “Don’t push Babe the cord’s around her neck.” I’m thinking, “Lord, please don’t let me hurt my baby cause I CAN’T stop pushing!” I was terrified in that moment because I literally could not control my own body. I couldn’t stop pushing. I was trying to just blow it away, but couldn’t. I was still bearing down. I was so scared. Thankfully that was a quick moment. “She got it Babe. Push!”
Then, finally, relief. At 2:18 a baby was tossed on my chest! “Oh my God! There’s a baby here. Hi baby.” She was perfect. Mr. declined cutting the cord this time. No surprise there. She stayed with me for a bit. Came out looking for a boob! Lol! While we were working on delivering my placenta, which seemed a slow process, she was whisked away to be cleaned up. To my surprise I remembered to have Mr. give the nurse the soap I packed for her- Shea Moisture’s baby soap. It smells incredible!
While she was getting weighed & measured, everyone kept asking, “What’s her name?” We still hadn’t agreed yet. Mr. said one name. “No it’s not! It’s …” I said that quickly! Shut it down! The nurses thought it was funny we hadn’t agreed yet. I almost got my way, but then my grandmother began talking to Mr. She liked his name. She said it was different. And of course when she said it she put her signature pronunciation on it. She always does this when it’s a name she likes. It’s kind of funny. I didn’t really care that she liked it. At least i didn’t want to care. But then Mr. said, “If we name her this, you can give her whatever middle name you want.” All in this moment, though, I was having a personal moment. I flashed to the story of Elizabeth and Zechariah. He had to name his son. I also reheard the Word of The Lord that was spoken to me concerning this child before I was pregnant. “This baby is for him.” So I let him. Mr. named our daughter.
She was returned to me bundled and smelling lovely. No crying. She was perfect! Did I already say that? She was. Her head was perfectly round. Not that typical cone shape most vaginal birth babies have. She had these long perfect little fingers. Her eyes were gray, beautiful dark brown hair that just laid on her head perfectly, sweet little lips with a perfect Cupid’s bow. I was in love all over again.
My L&D nurse made her 2 special little caps. She’d taken the time to cut bows and added them. I loved it! So special.
She was born 2:18 a.m., 6 lbs 11.4oz. 19.5 in.